Lions and Tigers and Bears, oh my!

Story by: The Grimm Brothers, "Snow White and Rose Red"

These are the thumbnails for a 32 page Childrens Story Book. The first couple are really rough, just so I can figure out the flow of the story and the text placement..
Then it gets more detailed and refined :] This is only the first half.. I included the story below. I rewrote it and I took out a LOT. I'd love some advice on how I can make the story better, I don't think I'm a very good writer.. or editor haha.

I love to draw and paint animals :] they're so much fun!

Snow White and Rose Red

There once lived a poor widow and her two daughters in a small cottage. Her older daughter's name was Snow White, the youngest Rose Red.

One evening, while they were sitting peacefully at home, someone started knocking at the door as if he wanted to be let in right away.

The mother said: "Quick, Rose Red, go and open the door. It may be a wayfarer seeking shelter."

When Rose Red went to the door and unbolted it, she was surprised to see a bear!

The bear began to speak, and he said: "Don't be afraid. I'm not going to hurt you. Won't you let me stay in your warm home?"

"You poor fellow," said the mother. "Do come in! Snow White, Rose Red, The bear isn't going to hurt you, he means no harm."

Soon the girls got used to the awkward guest, and he had to put up with all kinds of mischief from them. They would tug at his fur, walk on his back with their feet, and roll him back and forth, or else they would beat him with a hazel branch, and when he growled "Children, spare me!" they would start laughing.

The mother let the bear stay and the bear, Snow White, and Rose Red became very good friends.

Soon spring arrived and everything outside was turning green, the bear told the family: "I have to leave and won't return until the summer is over."

The girls didn't know that the reason the bear left was because of the evil dwarves. They come up to enjoy the weather and steal all of the bears treasures.

Everyone felt sad to see the bear go. The bear hurried off, and soon dissapeared into the woods.

Later on the children went to the woods to gather brushwood and they found a dwarf! They found him stuck to a tree trunk and He said,"What are you standing there for? Can't you come over here and help me!"

The girls pulled as hard as they could on the beard, but it was really stuck! (So Snow White decided to pull out a little pair of scissors from her pocket and cut the tip of the beard off. As soon as he was free he ran off with his sack of gold! muttering to himself) "Those horrible girls cut my beard!"

The next day Snow White and Red Rose went out to catch fish for dinner. When they got near the brook they saw the dwarf again. This time his beard got stuck on his fishing pole and a fish was hooked onto it!

Again Snow White pulled out her scissors and chopped part of his beard. With that he grabbed his sack of pearls and ran away.

One day the mother sent the girls into town to buy needles and thread, along with laces and ribbons. Their path took them across a heath that had big rocks strewn above them. Suddenly they caught sight of a huge bird soaring above them, to their horror they realized that the eagle had seized the dwarf and was about to fly off with him. The kindhearted children grabbed on to the little man and held tight, struggling with the eagle until it finally let go of its prey.

(The dwarf once again ran off this time grabbing a sack of diamonds and slipped under a rock to get back to his cave.)

On the way home the girls bumped into the dwarf. The dwarf had left all his shiny jewels on the ground and the two girls stood there gaping at the shimmering objects.

"Why are you standing there gaping at my stones!," the dwarf screamed.

All of a sudden a great black bear came and growled at him. The frightened dwarf begged him to spare his life and to take the two young girls instead, but the great black bear took him out with a single blow.

The girls had fled, but the bear called after them: "Snow White and Rose Red, don't be afraid. Wait for me, and we can walk together." The girls recognized the voice and stopped in their tracks. When the bear caught up with them, his skin fell off, and he stood there suddenly as a handsome young man, dressed in gold.

"I am the son of a king,"he said, "and that wicked dwarf stole my treasures and turned me into a wild bear. Only his death could break the spell. Now he's gotten the punishment he deserved."

To thank the two girls and their mother, the prince gave them gold and jewelry and they lived happily ever after.